10 Iconic One-Liners From Jason Statham Action Movies

A man of many talents, Jason Statham
can mix his hypermasculine action star brand with a type of comedic timing that many stand-ups would envy. He is the king of one-liners and has delivered many memorable quotes in his extensive movie career, from menacing and threatening displays of strength to absolutely hilarious quips that are as funny as any comedy film. A lot of the time, the humor comes from the context in which he delivers his burning lines.

With many of Statham’s films focused on outlandish action sequences, explosions, and car chases, dialogue can be limited. So, when he does say something, he certainly makes it count. It helps that his accent and gruff tone of voice can make anything sound good. He’s an actor who knows what he’s good at and isn’t afraid to poke fun at himself, which is very refreshing and makes some of the more uninspired scripts palatable. Mid-fight, or in a verbal stand-off with a frenemy, Statham can pack a punch.

10

“There’s A Million Scumbags In This World. It’s Hard To Keep Track Of All Of ‘Em.”

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As Jonas Taylor In Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

When it comes to everything he’s had to deal with throughout his movies, there’s no truer line spoken than this one. After the runaway success of the first film in the franchise, Meg 2: The Trench came out with a lot of expectations and a hefty budget. In addition to the giant shark, there were a few more surprises to be found in the depths of the ocean. There is also a betrayal from within, so this line takes on even more meaning.

Jonas Taylor is one of Statham’s most beloved roles, and his line deliveries as the no-nonsense, laws-of-physics-defying character are always on point. He has enough implied bitterness to warrant a brooding nature, and his bravery and bravado give him permission to be as cocky as he needs to be. But, at his heart, he is loyal and will protect what needs to be protected, even if it means taking on a giant prehistoric octopus. Which, in this particular instance, wasn’t even the scumbag he was talking about.

9

“We Can’t Have A Shoot Up Without Guns. We’d Lose.”

As Handsome Rob In The Italian Job (2003)

Before he was the leading man he is today, Statham paid his dues by playing scene-stealing supporting characters, which he still enjoys doing on occasion. In this slick ensemble heist movie, he plays Handsome Rob, the suave and charismatic getaway driver. He manages to have chemistry with whomever he gets paired with and has a lot of really great lines. Statham’s undeniable comedic touch was utilized well in The Italian Job, and no doubt helped launch his career on a larger scale.

This line, if taken at face value, could just be read as a statement of fact. It’s simple, and it’s true, but, when Statham says it, it is also very funny. It’s the mix of earnestness and sarcasm with which he says it, and the deadpan delivery that’s true to Handsome Rob’s character. He doesn’t try to be funny, but somehow is anyway. This just adds to his charm, to the frustration of the characters around him, and to the delight of the audiences watching.

8

“I’m Immune To 179 Different Types Of Poison.”

As Rick Ford In Spy (2015)

In one of his more supporting and very meta roles, Statham plays a CIA agent who crosses paths with Melissa McCarthy’s lead character on multiple occasions, as she tries to carry out her undercover mission. Spy‘s Rick Ford is a great example of what James Bond would look like if he were played by Jason Statham but with much more of a potty mouth and a lot of anger issues. He has so many excellent lines in the film, and this one is said to Susan Cooper as he tried to show his toughness.

Not so much one-liners as killer paragraphs, Ford would intensely recount some of the many, many dangerous situations he found himself in. The best thing about it was that a lot of these things actually happen to some of Statham’s characters. The full line read is: “Nothing kills me. I’m immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.” Another standout is about him using defibrillators on himself.

7

“I’m Gonna Make This Thing Bleed.”

As Jonas Taylor In The Meg (2018)

Before the release of this film, Statham faced many skilled adversaries and fought in countless fights, but had not yet taken on a giant prehistoric shark. Until he did. The Meg is packed with man vs. nature movie tropes and pays homage to the many murderous shark films that came before it. It is both funny and tense and lets Statham do what he does best. He shines in his role as a protector, fighter, and all-around hero.

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Jonas spends most of his time in or around water, with the threat of the massive Carcharodon Megalodon looming at every turn. No place is safe, and as the group of survivors gets smaller, his frustration builds. While Statham can be very funny when he wants to be, he does serious and threatening extremely well too. In this moment, the serious and deadly side takes over as he prepares to take out the big fish once and for all.

6

“I Wonder How Many Steaks I Could Make Out Of You?”

As Chev Chelios In Crank (2006)

The premise of Crank is one of the more outlandish of the ones Statham has brought to life, and it fully leans into its own outrageousness. From the script to the action sequences, nothing is done by halves. Chev Chelios is injected with a highly deadly toxin, which requires him to keep his heart rate elevated to a certain level or else he dies. Naturally, he does so for the duration of the high-octane action film, as he races across Los Angeles to find an antidote in time.

Throughout his quest, Chev encounters many bad guys that he subsequently beats in spectacular fashion. The one-liners flow out of him during every altercation with perfectly memorable deliveries by the actor. But there’s something about the ridiculousness of this particular one that makes it stand out from all the rest. The film spawned a sequel, and Chev Chelios remains one of Statham’s most out-of-the-box characters.

5

“You Don’t Need Your Mouth To Pee.”

As Frank Martin In The Transporter (2002)

Jason Statham has quite a few films whose titles are also the character’s job. The Transporter is one of those films, as he plays someone tasked with taking valuable objects from one place to another. Seeing as he kept doing it for three films, it seems audiences loved seeing him transport. Of course, there’s more to it than that, and Frank Martin ultimately must protect whatever is in his charge, which often includes people chasing him and trying to take it.

In this instance, he is transporting a person, whom he ends up forming a very close relationship with. In addition to action and adventure, the franchise is not afraid to lean into some romance. Though this particular quote is not romantic in any way, it is a playful indication of Frank lowering his guard and being humorous in a tense situation. It also showcases that though packed with explosive action, The Transporter is not afraid to poke fun at itself in the process.

4

“Next Time I’ll Deflate Your Balls, Friend.”

As Lee Christmas In The Expendables (2010)

Bringing together a cast as impressive as the cast of The Expendables is no mean feat. The sheer amount of ego that appears on the screen is incredible, and it was a pleasant surprise that all the action stars managed to get on as well as they did. With stars like Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, and Dolph Lundgren onboard, it would make sense to make a gritty ensemble piece, filled with violence and gore. While there is plenty of both, there is also a dash of humor to lighten the mood.

This line is said to someone who fully deserves it, and though it’s funny at its core, it’s also menacing in equal measure. It’s a good reflection on the movie as well as Statham’s personality as Christmas. His role as an elite and highly skilled mercenary lends itself well in dangerous situations all over the world, but he can also apply it much closer to home. He is a protector at his core, and won’t let anyone hurt those he is close to.

3

“I Asked You To Give Me A Refreshing Drink. I Wasn’t Expecting A F*****g Rainforest! You Could Fall In Love With An Orangutan In That!”

As Bacon In Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

In his breakout role in Guy Richie’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Statham plays a small-time street hustler with a lot of confidence and a sharp tongue. The film was a big hit and showcased Statham’s action-man credentials as well as his innate wit. It also led to another collaboration with the director on Snatch which cemented Statham’s status in Hollywood. Seeing as it is a Guy Richie film, the script was bound to be funny as well as packed with action.

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That it was, and Statham did an excellent job with the material he was given. This line perfectly encapsulates the type of humor the movie represents and has just the right amount of violence, twists, and dark comedy to make it work on every level. It’s quintessentially British and elaborate, which helps it land without sounding too ridiculous. The film put Jason Statham on the map, which it was in some part thanks to lines like this one.

2

“I’m What You Might Call A Champagne Problem.”

As Deckard Hobbs In Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)

Statham’s chemistry with Dwayne Johnson was so powerful in the Fast & Furious franchise that it led to their very own spin-off film. Their constant bickering and apparent animosity is filled with an undercurrent of respect. They fight together and against each other, and do it in style. From some slick action sequences to line delivery that made Statham himself break character, the film is endlessly quotable and filled with memorable quips.

Hobbs utters the line as he enters an exclusive club holding an expensive bottle of champagne. He proceeds to take out multiple goons, using the bottle as a weapon in the most creative and classy way. It’s perfect for his character and Statham’s smirk as he utters the line says it all. The best part is that at no point in the fight does he break the bottle, instead simply drops it at the very end, like dropping his very own mic. The line perfectly represents how the film mixes silliness with adrenaline-raising action sequences.

1

“By The Powers Vested In Me, I Now Pronounce You Man And Knife.”

As Lee Christmas In The Expendables 2 (2012)

With the first movie’s success, it’s no wonder a sequel was made, and The Expendables 2 played even more into referencing the usual action movie tropes. One gag included Jean-Claude Van Damme playing a villain rather aptly named Vilain. It brought on even more stars of the genre, including Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and saw Statham return as Lee Christmas. His name alone is also proof of how unseriously the franchise takes itself, as having a character with such a jolly name do what he does is also a clever gag.

The scene where Statham says this line takes place in a church, and he is dressed in religious attire. As he carries an incense dispenser, he holds the bad guys’ attention before saying this iconic sentence and producing a knife from his ceremonial robe. A fight, of course, ensues as the scene marries comedy and brutality in the best way possible. It’s impressive on many levels; playing on the word power, and utilizing the pun in a way that’s both literal and figurative. And Jason Statham relishes in every single word.

Jason Statham

Birthdate

July 26, 1967

Birthplace

Shirebrook, Derbyshire, England, UK

Notable Projects

The Meg, The Transporter, Wrath of Man

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Category: Entertainment