30 Best Hot Fuzz Quotes

Summary

  • Hot Fuzz
    is a hilarious and rewatchable tribute to the buddy cop genre, filled with brilliantly written quotes that foreshadow the movie’s events.
  • The movie is a wild ride with fast-paced humor, funny moments, and unforgettable one-liners that will have audiences laughing out loud.
  • The comedic foreshadowing and clever use of dialogue set up brilliant punchlines, making
    Hot Fuzz
    a must-watch for fans of Edgar Wright’s Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy.

Though fans will debate which is the best movie in Edgar Wright’s Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy, several Hot Fuzz quotes make a good case for it taking the title. It’s a common misconception that Edgar Wright’s Hot Fuzz is a parody of the buddy cop genre when it’s more of a tribute or homage. It follows all the traditions, as a straight-laced big-city cop moves to a small town and pairs up with a buffoonish local officer to shake things up and take on the unseen criminal underworld. However, it also has a brilliantly written script with quotes that hint at things to come in a way that makes it immediately re-watchable.

As the second entry in the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy, Hot Fuzz remains one of Wright’s most fun movies to watch. With fast-paced humor inside the buddy cop genre, the movie is a wild and hilarious ride with funny moments and lines that will have audiences laughing out loud no matter how many times they have seen it. From the recurring jokes to the unforgettable one-liners fans are still repeating years later, there are Hot Fuzz quotes that people still throw out years after the movie’s release and prove that Wright was a master of brilliant punchlines.

Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys II, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in Hot Fuzz, and Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry Related Every Classic Action Movie Referenced In Hot Fuzz

From Danny asking Nicholas which ones he’s seen to Edgar Wright replicating a bunch of familiar shots, Hot Fuzz references a ton of action classics.

30 “Well… It’s A Swan.”

Peter Ian Staker (Stephen Merchant)

Danny and Angel traveling in their car with a swan in the backset in Hot Fuzz

PC Nicholas Angel may be one of the best cops in the London Metropolitan Police, but he soon finds that he’s not quite suited for the altogether different job that is policing in a rural village. However, while Angel himself is disdainful of everything that comes with his new position, there are also several moments that prove his overzealous style of policing is just as unsuited to life in Sandford as life in Sandford is to him. One of the most hilarious of these comes when local resident Peter Ian Staker (Stephen Merchant) reports that a swan is missing from the local pond.

After initially thinking that the call-in is a hoax (partly because Peter Ian Staker is, in Angel’s mind, a clear anagram of “P***staker”, British slang for somebody who enjoys lying and practical jokes), he soon finds that bringing back escaped wildlife is part of his new role in Sandford. However, he gets a little carried away with his questioning, leading to a perplexed Peter Staker eventually having to state “well… it’s a swan” in an incredibly bemused fashion.

Nicholas Angel: Can you describe it?

Peter Ian Staker: It’s about two-feet tall, long slender neck, kinda orange and black bill…

Nicholas Angel: Anything else?

Peter Ian Staker: Well… it’s a
swan
.

29 “Because I Am One?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Danny Reveals He's A Police Officer in Hot Fuzz

Nick Frost’s Danny Butterman is arguably responsible for more of the best Hot Fuzz quotes than any other character. His naitivity and enthusiasm for policing makes him an incredibly endearing character, and the way he eventually wins over Pegg’s Nicholas Angel is arguably the emotional thread that underpins the hilarious buddy-cop movie. However, when viewers first meet Danny, it’s not as a police officer but as one of the drunk and disorderly pub visitors Angel arrests.

The next morning, Angel heads back to the Sandford police HQ to find the cell he’d left Danny in is empty. Enraged, Angel goes to ask where his suspect from the previous night has ended up, only to bump into him in the changing room. To Angel’s shock, the drunk from the night before is now wearing a full uniform. The exchange that follows is the first of the many hilarious Hot Fuzz quotes to come from the pair’s friendship, as Angel incredulously asks “why are you dressed as a police officer?!” to which an incredibly confused Danny hazards “because I am one?”

28 “Cook Any Fools?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Danny asks if Angel has cooked any fools in Hot Fuzz

It’s safe to say that Danny is enamored with Angel when the pair first meet, and to the somewhat sheltered PC Butterman, the former London Met officer embodies the heroes of the cop movies he loves so much. Danny’s constant questioning of Angel for details of his former life in London is inarguably the source of many of the best Hot Fuzz quotes, but one of the funniest comes right at the start of their relationship.

Danny Butterman: Have you seen a lot of action, Sergeant Angel?

Nicholas Angel: I’ve experienced my fair share, yes.

Danny Butterman: You cook any fools?

Nicholas Angels: What?

Danny Butterman: Did you shoot anyone?

DS Andy Wainwright: He shot a crackhead with a Kalashnikov.

Danny Butterman:
[impressed]
Cor, where’d you get that?

Nicholas Angel: The
offender
had the Kalashnikov.

Danny Butterman:
[still impressed]
Cor, where’d he get that?

It’s a safe bet that Danny hadn’t ever used a firearm throughout his time with the Sandford Police Department. When he finds out that Nicholas entered into several firefights with the London Met, he becomes beyond excited. However, rather than asking if Angel had shot anyone, he instead phrases the question as “you cook any fools?” Not only is this hilarious in its own right, but with the rural UK accent Nick Frost gives to Danny, it’s absolutely priceless.

27 “Couldn’t See His Face, Could I? I’m Not Made Of Eyes!”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Danny explains he isn't made of eyes in Hot Fuzz

It isn’t that long before Danny and Angel see their first share of action around Sandford, and have to pursue a local teen on foot after he’s caught shoplifting. After a prolonged chase in which Angel shows his athletic prowess (and Danny struggles to keep up), they eventually apprehend the culplrit. Angel catches the teen first, and immediately begins reading him the UK equivalent of his Miranda rights.

Danny eventually catches up, and in stark contrast to the professional approach of Angel, simply greets the shoplifter with a friendly “Hi Pete”. Angel, outraged, asks if Danny knows the criminal, to which Danny informs him that he does, and that the young shoplifter Pete is his “Auntie Jackie’s sister’s brother’s boy.” This is in itself a memorable Hot Fuzz quote, but the true punchline comes when Angel demands to know why Danny failed to mention he knew the culprit before they started giving chase. Danny, confused and slightly hurt, simply defends himself with “Couldn’t see his face, could I? I’m not made of eyes!”

26 “Is It True That There Is A Place In A Man’s Head That If You Shoot It, It Will Blow Up?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Danny asks if you can make a mans head blow up by shooting it in Hot Fuzz

The montage which sees Danny asking Angel every question he can think of is, for many, the highlight of Hot Fuzz. The entire sequence is a perfect parody of buddy-cop movies and police movies and shows in general, as Danny runs through almost every trope and memorable scene in the history of the genre to check if Angel has experienced anything similar. However, of all these questions, few stand out as much as when Danny asks if there’s a spot where someone’s head will literally blow up if shot there.

While it’s Frost’s delivery that helps to sell this Hot Fuzz quote, the context makes it equally memorable. For this particular question, Angel is giving a talk at the local elementary school. Danny, rather than standing next to him, sitting cross-legged on the floor with the other children, listening intently to Angel’s every word. The fact that this is the moment he chooses to ask his most violent question makes for a laugh-out-loud scene and it’s also one that perfectly captures everything that makes Danny Butterman such a lovable character.

25 “With Respect, Sir, You Can’t Just Make People Disappear.”

Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg)

The Chief Inspector looking at Nicholas Angel.

There are many notable celebrity cameos and guest stars in Hot Fuzz, many of which are more recognizable to UK audiences than those watching in the US. However, two that cross this cultural boundary are Martin Freeman and Bill Nighy, the latter of whom takes part in the back-and-forth during the opening of the movie that contains one of the funniest quotes in Hot Fuzz.

Nicholas had been making everyone else ”
look bad
” because he was so ”
exceptional
.”

Hot Fuzz opens with a scene where the highly intelligent Nicholas Angel is called into a superior’s office and is told he is being “promoted” to a post in the rural countryside. Angel doesn’t want to leave London, so he demands to speak to the Chief Inspector (Bill Nighy), who he learns was behind the transfer. Nicholas had been making everyone else “look bad” because he was so “exceptional.” Nicholas then said he can’t just make people disappear, to which he replied, “Yes I can, I’m the Chief Inspector.”

24 “Fascist” / “Hag”

Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) / Joyce Cooper (Billie Whitelaw)

Joyce Cooper with a machine gun in Hot Fuzz

Edgar Wright does a lot of comical foreshadowing in Hot Fuzz. When Nicholas Angel first arrives in Sandford, he goes to check into the hotel where he will stay as his house is completed. He meets the innkeeper, Joyce Cooper (Billie Whitelaw). After a quick Shining joke (“but you’ve always been here“) they have a moment where Joyce says “Fascist.” Angel is offended until he realizes it is a crossword puzzle answer. He then says “hag,” and after she shows offense, he tells her it is also in the crossword.

During the explosive climax, they finally use the words again, this time as weapons.

Joyce Cooper: Fascist!

Nicholas Angel: I beg your pardon?

Joyce Cooper: [doing a crossword puzzle] System of government categorized by extreme dictatorship. Seven across.

Nicholas Angel: Oh, I see. It’s “fascism.”

Joyce Cooper: “Fascism”! Wonderful. Now, we’ve put you in the Castle Suite. Bernard will escort you over there.

Nicholas Angel: Well, actually, I can probably make my own way up. Hag!

Joyce Cooper: I beg your pardon?

Nicholas Angel: Evil old woman, considered frightful or ugly, 12 down.

Joyce Cooper: [thinks about it] Oh… bless you!

This brief exchange in Hot Fuzz is absolutely hilarious. Thanks to the cinematography and Edgar Wright’s directing it’s a conversation that’s filled with tension and suspense — elements that are made hilarious by the fact that Nicholas and Joyce are subtextually sparring over, of all things, a crossword puzzle.

23 “I’m A Slasher! I Must Be Stopped!”

Simon Skinner (Timothy Dalton)

Timothy Dalton as Simon Skinner smiling in Hot Fuzz

At least one of the Hot Fuzz killers admits to his crimes early in the movie. When Nicholas Angel is jogging on his first morning in Sandford, everyone is greeting him as “sergeant.” However, one person is a lot more aggressive in his greeting. Supermarket owner Simon Skinner (Timothy Dalton) is also out jogging and runs up on Angel and greets him with the statement, “Lock me up.

Skinner admits he is a ”
slasher … of prices
.”

While Angel seems confused, Skinner admits he is a “slasher … of prices.” He then says “My discounts are criminal. Catch me later,” which is exactly what Angel did when Skinner turned out to be one of the killers. This is one of several Hot Fuzz quotes that’s even funnier after the first viewing, as it changes from Skinner seemingly just teasing the new village police officer to him being an incredibly overconfident murderer trying his luck.

22 “Have You Ever Fired Two Guns Whilst Jumping Through The Air?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Nicholas and Danny jumping through the air shooting two guns each in Hot Fuzz's final shootout.

The pairing of Nick Frost and Simon Pegg was integral to the success of Edgar Wright’s Cornetto trilogy (which also including Shaun of the Dead and The World’s End). However, of all the character’s Frost plays, it’s quite possible that Constable Danny Butterman is responsible for the most laugh-out-loud quotes, made all the funnier by his rural West Country accent. Danny is enamored with Angel, as Nicholas represents everything Danny wishes being a police-officer could be and that he’s perceived as missing from his village beat.

Before the pair become friends, Danny asks if Angel has ever fired two guns while jumping through the air, one gun while jumping through the air, or fired a gun while in a high-speed pursuit. Angel reprimanded Danny for his childish view of policing, but the dialogue was more hilarious foreshadowing. In the final shoot-out, Danny and Angel pull off all three, with Danny even firing his gun in a car while yelling “bang bang”. Danny’s dreams of “real police work” came true for him in the end of Hot Fuzz — every single one of them.

21 “Hey, Why Can’t We Say ‘Accident,’ Again?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Angel and Danny at the first murder in Hot Fuzz.

Early in Hot Fuzz, Nicholas Angel always feels Danny is never listening to his lectures, but this Hot Fuzz quote proves he couldn’t be more wrong. At the scene of the first murder, which was staged to look like a traffic accident, Danny calls it an accident, but Nicholas corrects him and says it is a “traffic collision.” When Danny asks why they can’t say accident, Nicholas says that implies there is no one to blame.

This is one of several lines in
Hot Fuzz
that’s more poignant on second viewing, and one that has more emotional depth than first appears.

This is one of several lines in Hot Fuzz that’s more poignant on second viewing, and one that has more emotional depth than first appears. What really made this strike home was later when Nicholas asks Danny how his mom died, and he answers, “Traffic collision.” His mother took her own life in what his dad called an “accident.”

20 “Everyone And Their Moms Is Packing Round Here.”

Detective Cartwright (Rafe Spall)

The Andy's from Hot Fuzz.

Hot Fuzz is so fondly remembered not just for the duo of Danny and Nicholas, but also because the supporting characters are equally hilarious. Two of the funniest officers on the rural police force are “The Andy’s”, a pair who — in addition to both being called Andy — look and act like they’re straight out of a 1980s crime procedural (albeit with a UK West Country twist).

When Nicholas Angel first finds himself in the rural town of Sandford. He initially takes it for a quiet place where nothing exciting happens. However, he is soon alarmed by the abundance of firearms in the town. When Angel expresses his concern over a local having an arsenal of weapons, the other officers ensure him everyone “and their moms” have guns, like farmers. When Nicholas asks who else might have guns, Andy Cartwright replies, “Farmer’s moms.” It is a simple punchline that sneaks up on the audience, and a reminder for Angel that he’s no longer in London:

DS Andy Wainwright: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city.

DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin’ round here!

Nicholas Angel: Like who?

DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.

Nicholas Angel: Who else?

DS Andy Cartwright: Farmers’ mums.

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19 “Did You Say ‘Cool Off’?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Angel with guns in supermarket in Hot Fuzz.

It’s quite brilliant how Nicholas spends the whole movie telling Danny how unrealistic action movies are only for the climax of Hot Fuzz to become a cliché-filled action sequence. There is a lot of fun meta-humor throughout this third act, especially as Danny has fun being in the middle of a genuine action movie. It’s from these references to Danny’s favorite movies that some of the best Hot Fuzz quotes come.

The fact that this conversation is happening in the middle of an action sequence adds to the absurdity.

The final scenes of Hot Fuzz see Nicholas, Danny, and the rest of the Sandford police force engaged in a full-scale shootout against most of the village, with a particularly memorable sequence taking place in the local supermarket. After Nicholas knocks Michael into the icebox, Danny shares his disappointment that Nicholas missed his opportunity to deliver a classic cheesy action movie one-liner. The fact that this conversation is happening in the middle of an action sequence adds to the absurdity.

18 “He’s Not Judge Judy And Executioner!”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Frank Butterman emerges from the shadows in Hot Fuzz.

Danny Butterman isn’t the brightest cop around. He is a bit like a grown child, especially in the way he is treated by his father. This causes issues as Danny is unable to accept it when his father is revealed to be the murderous villain of the movie. This was not only a brilliant and surprisingly emotional twist in Hot Fuzz, but it also led to one of the funniest quotes in the film (and one of several moments that makes it seem Danny would never have been accepted as a police officer in the first place were it not for his father being the local chief).

The argument between Nicholas and Danny is genuinely intense as Nicholas begs for Danny’s help and Danny attempts to defend his father. But when Nicholas suggests Danny’s father has made himself judge, jury, and executioner, Danny fires back, “He’s not Judge Judy and executioner!“, referencing the live courtroom TV show Judge Judy.

Danny Butterman: Ta-daaa!

Nicholas Angel: Danny, this is murder.

Danny Butterman: It’s not murder, it’s ketchup.

Nicholas Angel: It’s Frank! He’s appointed himself Judge, Jury and Executioner.

Danny Butterman: [agitated and defensive] He’s not Judge Judy, an Executioner.

17 “You’ve Got A Moustache.”

Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg)

Detective Wainwright looking mad in Hot Fuzz.

Those who know Paddy Considine from House of the Dragon might be surprised by his hilarious scene-stealing performance in Hot Fuzz. Considine plays Andy Wainwright, one of the two mustachioed detectives who don’t give Nicholas a warm welcome when he arrives in Sandford. Even Nicholas’ attempts to be helpful are met with hostility from the dim Wainwright.

The Andy’s open hostility towards Angel borders on the nonsensical, with the pair being flippant and facetious at every opportunity.

The Andy’s open hostility towards Angel borders on the nonsensical, with the pair being flippant and facetious at every opportunity. One of the best examples of this comes when Angel and the Andy’s are trying to enjoy a drink after a hard day policing. When at the pub together, Wainwright takes a sip of beer, leaving foam all over his mustache. When Nicholas points out, “You have a mustache,” Wainwright defiantly responds, “I know.” It is hard not to laugh at the stupidity of it all.

16 “Yarp.”

Michael (Rory McCann)

Michael Armstrong with a Band-Aid on his head in Hot Fuzz

Before starring as The Hound on Game of Thrones, Rory McCann had a hilarious supporting role in Hot Fuzz as Michael, the unintelligent trolly boy at the local supermarket. Though he is an imposing figure, Michael is only able to say “Yarp” which seems to be his word for “Yes.” It puts Michael alongside the likes of Groot and Hodor as characters who are memorable despite their limited vocabulary.

It’s a single line of dialogue which, thanks both to its repetition and the vacant facial expressions of Rory McCann as Michael, becomes impossible not to laugh at by the end of Hot Fuzz. However, one of the funniest uses comes not from McCann but from Simon Pegg. After Nicholas manages to subdue Michael in a fight, he attempts to impersonate him on the phone with Skinner. But when Skinner asks if Nicholas will be coming back, he takes a risk and answers “Narp?” which surprisingly works.

15 “You Ain’t Seen Bad Boys II?”

Danny Butterman (Nick Frost)

Danny holding Bad Boys 2 and Point Break in Hot Fuzz.

As proof of Edgar Wright’s genuine love of the genre, Hot Fuzz is filled with action movie references with none more represented than Michael Bay’s wild sequel Bad Boys II. When Danny is first bombarding Nicholas with questions, he asks him about various classic action movies, and he’s stunned to discover that Nicholas hasn’t seen them.

Bad Boys II
represents the height of Bay’s uniquely bombastic cinematic style, but it is hilarious to see Danny acting like it is an unmissable movie.

What makes this Hot Fuzz quote particularly funny is Danny’s reaction to the news that, despite all his straight-out-of-action-movies policing experience while with the London Met, Angel is completely unschooled when it comes to cheesy cop cinema. When he says he’s never seen Bad Boys II, Danny stops in his tracks and says, “You ain’t seen Bad Boys II?Bad Boys II represents the height of Bay’s uniquely bombastic cinematic style, but it is hilarious to see Danny acting like it is an unmissable movie.

14 “We’ve Got… Red, Or… White.”

Roy Porter (Peter Wight)

Nicholas reads a newspaper in the pub in Hot Fuzz

The difference between life in London and life in the small village of Sandford doesn’t just extend to far less intense policework for Nihcolas Angel, as he learns when he tries to order a glass of wine at the local pub. While there are some darker underlinings to Sandford that Nicholas finds, the movie also makes a point of showing that the big city cop is not giving the small town charm its due. To be fair, it does take him a little while to realize things are not the same as the city.

After endless insistence from Danny, Nicholas finally joins him at the pub for a drink. He asks for a wine list, and the bartender tells him they have “…red, or…white.” Nicholas eventually decides to follow in Danny’s footsteps and orders a pint. It is a small moment that leads to Nicholas finally unwinding a bit.

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13 “The Greater Good!”

Various Characters

The neighbourhood watch in cloaks sitting around a table in Hot Fuzz

If there’s one plot element of Hot Fuzz that was completely unexpected, it’s that the village of Sandford contains a full-blown cult – one that, hilariously, is dedicated to nothing beyond ensuring that Sandford is the most quaint and picturesque village it can possibly be. Though Hot Fuzz is a great cop movie, Edgar Wright also borrows from creepy movies like The Wicker Man with the council of Sandford’s “neighborhood watch.”

It’s how they justify killing people in order to maintain the rustic aesthetic of their village.

This line is uttered a couple of dozen times in the space of a few minutes when Angel first confronts the neighborhood watch. It’s how they justify killing people in order to maintain the rustic aesthetic of their village. Whenever one of them uses the phrase “the greater good” in a sentence, they all repeat it in tandem: “The greater good!” Eventually, Angel is so annoyed at hearing the phrase repeated over and over again that he tells them all to shut up.

12 “Morning, Sergeant!”

Various Characters

Simon Pegg jogging in town in Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz gets a lot of comedic mileage out of Nicholas moving away from the hectic hustle and bustle of the big city to the more close-knit community of a small village. In a village, everybody knows each other. This is incredibly unnerving for Nicholas, and his first day in the village leaves him feeling more than a little unsettled by the over-familiarity the Sandford residents show him.

When Nicholas goes out for his morning jog on his first day on the job, before he’s even really met anyone, everyone he passes on the street says, “Morning, Sergeant.” It is a fun thing that catches him off guard but also plays into the creepy feel of Sandford that seems to be hiding just under the surface. It’s another subtle way that Hot Fuzz borrows from various horror movies as well as cop films, as it creates a definite sense of unease and paranoia.

11 “How’s The Hand?”

Various Characters

Met sergeant at his desk in Hot Fuzz

If there’s one thing that Edgar Wright’s Cornetto trilogy does incredibly well, it’s running jokes. Some of these recur through all three movies in the franchise, whereas others simply repeat over the course of a single scene. At the beginning of Hot Fuzz, Nicholas Angel is introduced as the most effective, efficient, and ruthless cop in London.

Angel keeps taking the decision further up the chain, determined to fight it, and every superior who greets him asks about the stab wound in his hand.

He’s so good at his job that he’s making everyone else look bad, so the top brass, which consists of some fun Hot Fuzz cameos, decides to relocate him to a village in the middle of nowhere. Angel keeps taking the decision further up the chain, determined to fight it, and every superior who greets him asks about the stab wound in his hand. It is Wright’s signature style of comedy to have the same line repeated over and over, becoming funnier each time Nicholas is asked the same question.