(500) Days Of Summer: 18 Important Lessons About Love That This Unconventional Rom-Com Taught Us

Summary

It’s okay to focus on a career over romance like Tom ultimately did in (500) Days of Summer.
Be aware of damaged relationships – don’t ignore the signs like Tom did.
Life goes on after a breakup, but it’s okay to grieve and take time to heal, just like Tom did.

(500) Days of Summer has always been unique among romantic comedies due to how director Marc Webb’s indie film subverted viewers’ expectations and didn’t play into outdated tropes. It is a different kind of movie that fits no one genre. It was raw, real, and even painful to watch at times. However, unlike many by-the-numbers formulaic rom-coms, (500) Days of Summer is rife with applicable life lessons that actually correlate to real-world romance.

Good essay

Many viewers agree that the life lessons in 2009′s (500) Days of Summer still ring true to this day, and it especially hits home for those dealing with a recent breakup. The lessons (500) Days of Summer taught opened the eyes of many viewers to what might have gone wrong in their relationship and helped them cope with the reality that it was over. Tom and Summer have an incredibly realistic romance without a happily-ever-after, and that’s what makes the wisdom and meaning behind (500) Days of Summer so endearing and timeless.

You are watching: (500) Days Of Summer: 18 Important Lessons About Love That This Unconventional Rom-Com Taught Us

Related 500 Days of Summer Movie Timeline Explained

500 Days Of Summer’s reveals the rise and fall of Tom and Summer’s whirlwind romance – here’s how the non-linear timeline informs the film’s meaning.

18 Others Aren’t Responsible For Who You Think They Are

Tom’s View Of Summer Matches What He Wants But Not Who She Really Is

Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) has some big ideas for his relationship with Summer (Zooey Deschanel) and thinks that they’re going to last forever, despite what Summer tells him at the start. The audience sees his true thoughts about how he perceives Summer and the expectations for their relationship, but it’s not reality.

Tom is devastated when Summer breaks up with him and doesn’t see it coming at all, partly because of how he thinks Summer is without fully realizing who she actually is as a person and instead overly romanticizing their relationship. It’s a good reminder for the audience that other people aren’t responsible for how another individual views them. Summer isn’t to blame for Tom’s hurt because he spent so long seeing her as he wanted to see her, and not for who she really is.

17 You Can’t Move On If You Live In The Past

Tom’s Pain Persists Because He Won’t Admit The Relationship Is Over

One of the key lessons taught by (500) Days of Summer is the importance of looking forward and not dwelling in the past. Although it makes sense to grieve after a sad event (like a difficult break-up), the movie chronicles Tom’s life and depression after his relationship with Summer is over. The rom-com twist ending shows Tom and Summer don’t end up together, and that isn’t a bad thing for him, even though he initially feels like his entire world is ending.

Eventually, Tom is able to move on from the relationship and finds that he can again feel happy, even though he’s not with Summer, and he’s actually alone. The only reason he was able to move on was because he was able to let go of Summer instead of living in the past.

16 It’s Okay To Focus On Career Over Romance

Tom Is Able To Refocus His Passions

The opening narration of (500) Days of Summer states that Tom’s outlook on love was partially due to “a total misreading” of the ending to The Graduate. This speaks a lot to him as a character as he is obsessed with the idea of romance but fails to understand the complications that come after a relationship begins. He doesn’t understand that there’s more to a relationship than simply the romance or that relationships take work. In part, the movie is about him discovering happiness outside of romantic relationships.

Instead of jumping into a new relationship, Tom learns that he can shift his focus to his career and put his time and energy into becoming a successful architect, which has been his dream job. The movie proves it’s not all about relationships, and it’s okay to focus on a career or personal goals and sometimes that’s healthier.

Related 500 Days of Summer: Tom Was Always The Villain – Theory Explained

Manic-pixie dream girl Summer has always been the bad guy in (500) Days of Summer, but years later, audiences shift the blame to doe-eyed Tom Hansen.

15 The Idea Of “The One” Isn’t Realistic

Tom Is Too Short-Sighted At The End Of The Relationship

Throughout most of (500) Days of Summer, Tom is convinced that he’s found “the one” in Summer. He thinks the search for his one true love is over and the two of them will live happily ever after, which, of course, doesn’t happen. Tom is distraught and thinks that he’ll never find anyone again and that Summer was the perfect partner, and he ruined his life by failing in the relationship.

However, the story proves that Tom can heal, move on, and even meet someone new by the end of the movie, making the idea of “the one” unrealistic. There’s a reason “second chance romance” is so popular in romance novels and on romance-fueled networks like Hallmark. People are allowed to fall in love more than once. A relationship ending doesn’t make someone a failure. Instead, it just gives them an opportunity to experience new love all over again.

14 It’s Okay To Be Single/Alone/Independent

Tom Searches For Purpose In Romances

One of Tom’s vices in (500) Days of Summer is that he thinks he has to be in a relationship and if he isn’t, he’s wasting his life away. It’s a huge problem and probably one of the biggest reasons he put so many expectations on his relationship with Summer. This is a reality for a lot of people who do not feel comfortable when on their own. Ultimately, a person cannot be in a relationship that is healthy and positive if they don’t know how to be comfortable on their own.

Sure, it can be lonely at times, but it’s important to learn that it’s okay to be alone sometimes. At the end of the movie, Tom seems to find a new love interest, but it is easy to see that happy ending not lasting long as he does not seem to understand a relationship does not define who he is.

13 A Person Cannot Force Somebody To Love Them

Tom Made Summer A Villain For Simply Having Her Own Desires

The plot of (500) Days of Summer centers around Tom’s vision of what he wants with his relationship with Summer. He tried so hard to get her to love him the way he loved her, but it just never quite took off. No matter how hard he tried, and how much he wanted it, Summer was never going to have those same feelings. Instead of understanding that, Tom continued to see Summer the way he wanted to and then decided she was the villain of his story when she didn’t live up to those expectations.

He is angry at Summer for not feeling the same way, but she was upfront about her outlook on relationships, whereas Tom actually brings some toxicity to (500) Days of Summer for not respecting that. People cannot be forced to love others. Everybody has their own choices and feelings, and sometimes they aren’t convenient for others.

See more : Is Georgie Fame Still Alive? Georgie Fame Age, Wife, Net Worth and more

Related Why Summer Isn’t The Villain In 500 Days Explained By Zooey Deschanel

In a recent interview, Zooey Deschanel opens up about her polarizing character in 500 Days of Summer and encourages fans to think a little deeper.

12 Expectations Will Never Be The Same As Reality

Tom’s High Expectations Made The Reality Hurt More

One of the most iconic scenes in the film also contains one of the most useful life lessons in (500) Days of Summer — the “expectations vs. reality” moment of Tom seeing Summer again after their breakup. He imagines that they have a wonderful evening and even hints at them getting back together. In reality, they don’t talk the entire night and Tom goes home upset. It is dangerous to let expectations of how a relationship could turn out preoccupy the mind. It’s okay to have them, just be careful of how much pressure is placed on them to succeed.

This idea of Tom’s expectations conflicting with his reality is very much the crux of most of the problems he has in his relationship with Summer. Tom expects Summer’s feelings to change, Tom expects Summer to treat him a certain way, and Tom expects Summer to fall back into his arms when they meet again after their breakup. None of that happens, and Tom doesn’t adjust his expectations when confronted with reality. Instead, his expectations repeatedly cause him grief because he doesn’t accept his reality.

11 Don’t Ignore The Signs Of A Damaged Relationship

Tom Only Saw The Relationship He Wanted

When Summer breaks it off with Tom, she points out that the relationship hasn’t been working for a while. Tom is taken completely by surprise and heartbroken before he then becomes depressed because of the breakup. So, did he not see the signs of the relationship turning stale? Or did he just refuse to see them? For Tom, caught up in his own head, it’s likely a bit of both.

His sister later suggests he was just remembering the good parts and that he needed to look back on how Summer was feeling during their relationship. It may seem easier and less painful to ignore the signs of a damaged relationship, but in reality, it just makes everything harder. It’s a fantasy that will eventually crumble because there are two sides to a relationship, and both sides need to be recognized for a relationship to work.

10 It Is Important To Be On The Same Page

Tom Made Assumptions About What Summer Wanted

One of the biggest reasons that Tom and Summer’s relationship has become rocky is that they were never on the same page. Tom never expressed to Summer how he really felt, and what he really wanted out of the relationship. While Summer had told him where she stood early on, it was never brought up again and Tom figured she didn’t feel the same way as they became more serious. Tom never took the time to pay attention to the fact that he and Summer were in different places in their lives and wanted different things from a romantic relationship.

Due to this, their relationship became strained when Tom realized that Summer was not as dedicated to the relationship as he thought she was. Had Tom expressed how he felt early on, and what he wanted, the relationship might have been able to survive a little longer.

Related (500) Days of Summer Is The Perfect Valentine’s Day Movie

Indie rom-com (500) Days of Summer has been hit with much backlash since it was released, but the film is the perfect Valentine’s Day movie.

9 Don’t Let Happiness Be Dependent On Another Person

When Summer Left, Tom Didn’t Know How To Be Happy Again

(500) Days of Summer speaks both to single people and those who are in a relationship. Possibly one of the most important lessons from (500) Days of Summer is that happiness cannot be dependent on another person. Summer becomes the only source of happiness for Tom, and he loses himself because of that. He doesn’t realize that he has put all his hopes, all his emotional connection, and all his future plans, onto Summer, and nothing or no one else.

It is unfair to put that pressure on anyone. It is bound to end terribly and throw anybody involved into a deep depression much like Tom’s. It doesn’t mean people can’t make each other happy, it just means one partner can’t be relied on as the sole source of happiness in the relationship. A person has to find happiness in their career, their hobbies, their other friendships, etc. Having a full life is important to having a successful relationship.

8 There Are Always Two Sides And Feelings To A Relationship

Much Of The Movie Focused On The Relationship As Tom Saw It

The point of (500) Days of Summer is that the audience is seeing everything through the eyes of a man who has been broken up with. This story is fully from Tom’s point of view. By the midway point, the audience is mad at Summer. It’s hard to like Summer because she’s broken the heart of the protagonist. That is exactly what it is like when seeing a relationship from only one side.

The film makes the audience realize that Tom’s view is not necessarily the truth, but instead, a biased version of events. He is the definition of an unreliable narrator. Every relationship involves two people, and therefore, two sides to a story and two feelings. One person’s feelings do not invalidate another’s, and it’s important in a relationship to take a step back and see things from another’s perspective.

7 Just Because It Started Good, Doesn’t Mean It’ll Always Be Good

Tom Couldn’t Handle The Imperfect Moments

In the beginning, Tom and Summer’s relationship is clearly a good one. They have the same interests and get along easily, and the romance is adorable between the two. It is clear that it changes as the days roll along though, and doesn’t stay perfect. The (500) Days of Summer timeline effectively shows how drastically different a relationship can change over time. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and that’s just what being a relationship is about. It’s important to bear in mind that it won’t always be good, and sometimes it’ll never get back to being good.

Nothing and no one is perfect, no matter how much human beings might strive for perfection. That’s okay. In a relationship, there are going to be bumps in the road or arguments, but it’s how the partners in the relationship react to those situations that can make the relationship work – or not. Sometimes, just because something isn’t good once in a while doesn’t mean it has to end, just that the good is more appreciated. If the bad outweighs the good though, it’s time to rethink the relationship, just as Summer does.

Related 10 Best Songs In (500) Days Of Summer

(500) Days Of Summer boasts a soundtrack to go down in movie history, as each of the best songs reveals a new chapter of the boy meets girl tale.

6 Liking The Same Band Doesn’t Mean Two People Are Meant To Be

Tom Put Too Much Meaning On Small Things

See more : Who is Sam Worthington’s Wife? Know Everything About Sam Worthington

Tom first falls for Summer because he finds out she has the same music taste as him, and he’s apparently never experienced that before. It becomes the catalyst for the entire story and an iconic moment in the film. Except that reality isn’t as simple as that. Many people can share the same interests without ever becoming romantically involved. In fact, most friends share similar interests without ever pursuing romance.

The music in (500) Days of Summer is memorable, but even Tom’s adolescent sister is smart enough to know “just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn’t mean she’s your soulmate.” A person isn’t meant to be with somebody just because they have the same interests. It might be exciting for a moment that somebody loves the same band, but it is not enough to build a romantic relationship.

5 A Person Can Find Love In The Most Unexpected Places

Tom May Have Found Happiness After He Stopped Trying To Force It

Although Tom and Summer might not have found happiness with each other, even after they tried so hard to make it work, this doesn’t mean that love was done with them. As evidenced by Summer’s marriage to her husband and Tom’s possible romance with Autumn (Minka Kelly), they seemed to have possibly found the right person when they weren’t even looking. They just had to stop trying to force a relationship that wasn’t right for them.

The idea that love can be found in the most unexpected places is one that rings true, as life is full of random and unpredictable things and encounters. Although a person might not realize it at the time, one conversation could, in fact, lead to a life-changing moment. It might be scary to think about, but it can also be exciting too.

4 Take An Opportunity When The Moment Arises

Tom Learns To Not Overthink These Moments

When the movie first began, Tom wasn’t very confident in asking other people out, as he had an idea in his head that it wouldn’t turn out the way he expected it to. However, by the end of the movie, he seems to be a completely different person, as he is seen to be taking more chances on people and taking more opportunities too.

It’s not just Tom who seemed to have this epiphany either. Although she only had about five minutes of screen time, it’s clear that Autumn hadn’t been the type of person to take risks before. However, for some reason, she decided having a drink with Tom was worth canceling the plans that she had initially made with her friends. There’s definitely a chance that these opportunities might not work out, but some people might still be happy with the outcome as this means that they aren’t left with the “what ifs?”

Related 10 Best Movies About Introverts, According To Reddit

From Amelie to The Perks Of Being a Wallflower, these are some movies that Redditors feel are relatable to the introverted experience.

3 Don’t Put People On A Pedestal

Tom’s View Of Summer Was Flawed From The Beginning

From the very beginning of (500) Days of Summer, it is quite clear that Tom has placed Summer on a pedestal. He believes Summer is the perfect person for him because they have lots of things in common and has high expectations that she will eventually reciprocate his feelings (because that is what happened in his ideal world). However, what he fails to understand is that, by doing this, he is putting a lot of pressure on her.

Many people will agree that this is something no one should ever do as it is quite unfair to expect a person to be perfect all the time. Everyone has their flaws, and they will certainly make mistakes, but this is all part of life. It’s not fair to make a person feel guilty for not living up to the expectations others set for them.

2 Don’t Be A Jerk When Things Don’t Go The Expected Direction

Tom’s Immaturity Showed When He Painted Himself As The Victim

While there are certain moments in (500) Day of Summer where Tom is a sympathetic character, but there are other times when he acts like a jerk (which is particularly seen when he gets angry at Summer for refusing to put labels on their relationship or how he insulted her for not fitting his expectations). Tom was even quick to judge Summer before ever speaking to her after being told she was “uptight.”

Although having strong communication skills would have resolved many issues the couple had, Tom had no right to act like a jerk and get angry at Summer for not meeting his expectations. She had always been upfront about what she wanted out of the relationship, so it was unfair to get angry at her when he realized that she hadn’t changed her mind. This can also apply to real life as well; just because things might not be going as expected doesn’t give anyone the right to act like a jerk toward other people.

1 Life Goes On After A Breakup, But It’s Okay To Grieve

Tom Grows Out Of His Heartbreak

Though it might seem odd, (500) Days of Summer is a great breakup movie because it embraces the sadness of the loss while showing the optimism of coming out the other side. Tom takes his breakup with Summer hard. It hits him hard, and he struggles to recover from it. Eventually, though, he does. He picks himself up and he moves on. He even meets another woman that he could fall for.

Every breakup is hard, and that is inevitable. It is also okay to grieve after one and take time to heal. Nobody grieves the same way, and everybody heals at their own pace. However, it’s important to remember that life will go on. It is not the end of the world. It might feel like it, but give it a month or two and the improvement will be noticeable, just as it was for Tom in (500) Days of Summer.

(500) Days of Summer PG-13 Where to Watch

*Availability in US

stream
rent
buy

Not available

Director Marc Webb Release Date July 17, 2009 Cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt , Zooey Deschanel , Geoffrey Arend , Chloe Moretz , Matthew Gray Gubler , Clark Gregg Runtime 95 minutes Writers Scott Neustadter , Michael H. Weber

Source: https://dinhtienhoang.edu.vn
Category: Entertainment